Keep it in neutral
I am not a professional psychologist or counselor, but it sure seemed like I played one with most of the women in my life (lol). Perhaps it was my background in the “self-help” industry or constant yet questionable attempt at “personal development”…
Regardless, from the courses I took in college to the many books I’ve studied, a common theme is professed. Most critically, it’s been expressed in my own life and relationships. As my late Grandmother stated in a letter to an immature and struggling college Grandson;
“Life is difficult at best”
With advice like that, it’s no wonder I took psychology classes that propelled me towards the pursuit of purpose for the rest of my life. Although several years later I “Discovered” the intent of her harsh message. At least so I assumed, since she had passed away when I proposed my theory.
It was during a drive from the deep South to my birthplace in Upstate NY for a wedding. I was the “best man” and required to give “the” toast. Over 20 hours of solitude watching the country go from “red” to “blue”, conservative to liberal, rural to urban, and back again. Reflecting on my own life, and the lives of the family I had left behind, it was now clear…
The perfect lives of those “sitcom” characters was a farce, and there isn’t a “Happy Days” ending to every episode in the real world. Yes, “Life is difficult at best“, and so we must just make the best of it!
But what I hoped my Grandmother meant, and what I said at the toast, was to accept the fact that there will be “bad hair days” (the bride was a cosmetologist). That even “the best laid plans of mice and men” (Steinbeck) will often go awry…
Rather than perceiving every event that goes “awry” as a catastrophe, accepting the premise that in fact “life is difficult”, it reduces itself to a minor inconvenience…
As someone often passionate about his ideas, from marketing to politics, to “Discovering” the truth, my hair has been “on fire” more than once. They say people will come from miles around to see a man on fire with enthusiasm. Yet that over zealous excitement can extinguish the flame like a candle burning for too long…
I wish I had practiced it more than just preached, with all the “trials and tribulations” this I would bequeath…
Don’t get to high nor sink too low, just “Keep it in neutral” for in the long haul, it’s the only way to go…